CHIEF McNASTY’S CORNER

You’ve all read my rant about those 'belt-fed screamin’ lifers' who have a never-ending tattoo of their rank on each arm. They just add to it with each promotion. Did you ever stop to wonder how they got that way? Let me tell you how it happens...

CLEANING: We clean EVERYTHING. You could literally eat off my shower floor, and sow corn where I raked the dirt outside. You won’t find a single pine cone on the grass outside our barracks – unless the visiting General wants a more “natural” look – in which case, we put them back. Neatly.

WEAPONS MAINTENANCE: They once had to be so clean that you had to pass a “3 Q-Tip” inspection. If any carbon was found on a single swab – back to cleaning it. That ended after we started cleaning the bluing right off the metal.

HAIRCUTS: I know guys who spend as much at the barber as they do on beer each month. And I’m talking about BALD guys, too. They pay for that “SizzleLean” stuff to make their scalps shiny every week.

SHINING: Polishing brass. Waxing and buffing the deck. Painting rocks. The OCD list goes on and on. The next time you see your screamin' lifer brother– don’t feel sorry for him. Just hand him something to clean. He’ll know what to do.

Sound off with your military OCD stories, and don’t spare the readers!

Stay Nasty, my friends.

Brenden M. is a retired USN SARC Corpsmen,
USMC Force Recon Operator, HALO Jumpmaster,
and Contributing Writer for 7.62 DESIGN

(Below: "I love the smell of PINE OIL in the morning.
Smells like... VICTORY!")